On Sunday, Russian President Vlad "The Impaler" Putin won reelection. The world was schocked, shocked, to hear this news. But not our Imperial President, Don the Con Trump. He was thrilled. So thrilled, in fact, he called Vlad and congratulated him on his stunning victory.
Next on the Trump agenda: Calling the Harlem Globetrotters to express amazement at how easily they beat the Washington Generals in a recent basketball game.
