One of the many surprises for President Donald Trump, besides the need to read stuff, was that all the government waste he promised to eliminate has already been eliminated. In his best fourth-grade oratory, President Trump said, "I looked for waste and sad people in the swamp of our capital doing terrible things with our money, like maybe not spending it on the wall. But it turns out all the waste is gone already."
With a more-confused-than-normal look on his face, Trump continued. "President Reagan said he would stop the waste when he got to the Oval Office. Then President Bush, the one even older than me, did the same thing. And the younger Bush said he would clean out all the rest of the waste. That's what the Mission Accomplished sign referred to, not the war stuff."
UberPresident Bannon cleared his throat and whispered, "Obama."
UnderPresident Trump jumped, and hastened to add to his remarks. "What I am saying, and the so-called press never reports, is that President Obama wasted big piles of money on stupid things. I thought it was arts and foreign aid and the UN, but it turned out to be insurance for poor people. That's all ObamaCare was, you know, or you would know if you watched the right TV shows, was insurance for poor people. What a giant waste! Terrible!"
The press looked toward UberPresident Bannon. He waved his arm from left to right. "These are not the facts you are looking for."
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